My Definition of Overabundant Milk and Overactive Letdown
Overabundant Milk is relative. It is too much milk for a *specific* mother and baby pair. It means that the speed and amount of the milk is too much for that mother and baby to handle with the coping techniques available to them. With better techniques for coping with the milk, the overabundancy can be modulated to a place that both mother and baby can handle day to day.
Overabundancy is a gift. It means that you will always have enough milk. In the past the mother with this much milk could nurse her baby through the worst winters, and the most terrible times. It helped women cope with typhoons and with the most northern conditions. It allowed mothers to strap babies to one side and nurse them all day while bringing in the harvest, or cleaning skins wearing a parka.
It is real. It is not something that you made up, or caused only by doing something wrong. It is not because you don't care about your baby, or don't want to do the best for them. It is something that happens even when you know it's going to happen. It happens with subsequent children, it happens even when you know everything about the problem.
It is also fixable. It is something that you can do something about. Slowly, daily, and sometimes painfully, but the techniques that worked with my first, worked with my second, and worked for my third. They've worked for every mom I've worked with. It requires tailoring to your situation, and lots of thinking, and crying, but it works.
It is a hardship. It is something that people ignore, write off, tease you for thinking is a problem, cajole you into thinking your hurting your baby. Even with support and love it is months of a screaming hurting baby, not knowing the source of pain and stress, and even when you understand what it is and what is going on, it takes daily energy to think through what to do next, and when, and how much.
But it is also a joy. It is realizing that you can and will get through it. That you and your baby will be closer than you ever thought. That you will learn to get through this together and you will find a part of your relationship as mother and child that will bring benefit for years and years as you learn to read your child, fight for them, and do what is best for your relationship, not what others tell you do.
It is a journey. It is days that pass so slowly, and weeks that pass so quickly. It will take forever, and it will be over in an instant. It is your story to write your way through, just as I have written my way through mine.
Good luck and better skill. I'm with you on your journey.